Pedicab Man

Scooter met Bandit, the Raccoon, last night. She was at home with her two live-in house guests, Raccoon Lady, and Max, the Wonder Dog.

When we were in the car headed home after the visit, I turned to Scooter and said, "Wasn't that a wonderful and genteel evening?"

Scooter growled at me and said, "Genteel! Are you out of your f---ing mind? That so-called raccoon is a RAT. A rat with an ass as big as Kansas. Still had on the prison uniform from her escape from Rat Hell. Did you see the bitch climb up on the mantel, lay on her back and look at me with those glowing eyes? For crying out loud she was upside down putting the stare on me! I'll be shaking for two friggin' months.

"Yeah, all you could do was shake and growl, but didn't you like Max the Wonder dog?" I asked.

"He's not a bad sort, but the big oaf kept drooling on me."

"Well then what about the Raccoon Lady?"

"Look, Jimbo, let's face it, they're all whacked."

"Cool. You know how I like weirdo, whacked folks."