Tuesday, November 28, 2006



Papillon has been sold to my good friend Kevin Kerns. Had a hard time getting Kevin cornered to do the deal.

I kept saying, "your money, my bank, today."

Then it occurred to me; this guy is Irish! Two drinks later I had the money.

Kevin is changing the boat's name because he hates all thing French, except Grey Goose and then only when it's free.

I'm throwing his money and some more at another hole in the water called Miami Star. Oh well, at least I'll be out of the boat business for about 24 hours.


Bucket of Coon anyone?

Bandit caught napping after a hard night on the job:

1. Inventory control: counting Kibble's pellets in the dog's dish.
2. Lunch break: eats the Kibble's pellets she likes and throwing out the rest.
3. Guard duty: keeping the dog awake since that's his job.
4. Customer relations: randomly hitting speed dial on the phone at 2:00 AM.
5. Building and grounds: spilling the dog's water on the floor to give those bums on 1st shift something to do.

6. Product development: animal testing on new line of eye make-up [watch out PETA].

Wednesday, November 22, 2006


Close to a deal.........

Paddy and Scooter enjoy the main salon and a rum drink aboard the Miami Star.

Paddy is helping me check out systems on the Miami Star and pick out a tender before my purchase. The boat seems to be in good condition. It looks like we have a deal pending sale of my other boat which is scheduled to happen this week or early next week.

It turned might cold and that whore Scooter ended up in bed with his Uncle Pat.

Sunday, November 19, 2006


Open letter to all my Alabama friends.


I'm feeling so sorry for those Alabama Seniors, football and otherwise, who have spent four years in the institution and never beaten Auburn in football. It just breaks my heart. It's just not fair to treat young people this way and if it was in my power to change the out come I would surely do so in a heart beat.

On another note: I'm going into the real-estate business and wondering if you would be interested in some nice ocean front property in Tennessee?

What is it they say? Oh, BETTER LUCK NEXT YEAR!


Saturday, November 18, 2006


Bold idea........

Why not make this boat my dinghy? Call it Beater Boat. For $800 bucks you get a running boat and trailer. Pull up to the dinghy dock and NO ONE F...KS WITH YOUR RIG. No screwing around with locks. You have the dock to yourself or if someone is brave enough to hang around you give em a little bump and run training.

Going off shore? Put the motor on the big boat and if the Beater Boat fills with water cut the sucker loose. You still got the motor and trailer.

Finally, and best of all, it will give that noisy neighbor a real pain in the ass.


For Sale: 30' Catalina for $5.00 [needs a little work].

The boat in the muddy foreground is a 70's vintage 30' Catalina. I bought one new in 1987 for $40k and hope it's in better shape these days. The ketch with all the windows is the 52' Miami Star which might become Paddy's and my next project.

Since I stopped riding the pedicab I've gained some weight from too many rum and cokes. Solution: change to diet coke.


St. Marys Georgia.

Took this picture from deck of Miami Star which is docked in either St. Marys or St. Mary's. I'm checking out the boat for possible purchase. She's kind of ugly but otherwise in good condition.

Friday, November 17, 2006


Craps anyone?

You can buy this floating Casino at Detyen's Boat Yard in Goose Creek, SC for $700k [bet they would take $300k] it come with 98 Slot machines. Buy the sucker and move it to the Mississippi Gulf Coast, give part of profit to Katrina victims.

Monday, November 06, 2006


What's normal?

On our 140 mile trip, aboard the Miami Star to St. Marys last week we encountered:

1. Hot Weather [I got sunburn].
2. Cold weather [fleece under foul weather gear].
3. Shallow water [you could see the mud stirred up].
4. Fog [delayed our arrival by 3-4 hours].
5. Rain.
6. Big Ass Ships [most dangerous thing to small craft].
7. Alarm bells [carbon monoxide detector in engine room at 3:00 AM and VHF radio alarm when we passed submarine work area].
8. Plugged head [gag].
9. Head winds [something every sailor hates].
10. Dirt in the fuel.
11. Gale warnings [we beat the front by 12 hours].

Summary: yawn, just another boring trip on a sailboat.

Saturday, November 04, 2006


What a deal!

West Marine had a yard sale to get rid of old inventory. I screwed West Marine by purchasing a weather reporting system made by Oregon Scientific for $5.00 and included in the system was this magic thermo sensor for measuring outside temperature. Ever since I bought this item the temperature outside has been 72F. I need to call NOAA and let them know the frost warnings for last night were a crock.

Friday, November 03, 2006


Another day at the office.....

Picture taken 15 miles offshore from the deck of Miami Star when we took her to St. Marys Georgia this week.
[Look close at the horizon in the picture and notice it goes down hill from left to right, this is what causes the tide to run in towards the shore.]

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