Friday, February 29, 2008

 

Universal Mystery


After Jack's bath last night, he was running around showing off his naked fanny. In the middle of his parade, he stopped to pee (urinate sounds too formal for a 16-month-old). In a house with 95% hardwood floors, why do these things always happen on the small area rug we have in the living room? Why is it that if a dog throws up, we always find the evidence on this rug? Why does a little water spill hit the hard wood, but spill your Blood Mary and it's all over that stupid rug?
Oh, Yeah........ Why does every plastic bowl I pull out of the cupboard have the lid missing? Why do I always get in line at the grocery, wait around for 10 minutes and some guys walks up and they open a new line for HIM? If I get the short line, why is it always behind some old lady who writes a check? Why do I always pick the slow lane on the cross town? Why is that if I'm wearing sandals, my socks have holes? I don't dare lone-out my jumper cables--I'll have a dead battery? AND..... when I finally luck up and get the new line, why do I forget my wallet at the register...okay, sometimes it a cell phone or keys? This is making me tired.....it's a wonder I have any teeth left to grind.

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