Pedicab Man

Jack mom gave him his bath. Then he practised his pee pee. Basically he stands naked on his little stool next to the toilet with his wee wee in his hand and says, "Pee pee." We haven't actually gotten to the point where pee pee comes out the wee wee but he seem to like standing there holding himself. Then we carved the pumpkin which ended up with one square eye and one triangle eye but no one seemed to notice. Another wild night in Charleston.

Is it just me or are others getting sick and tired of this election?

GET IT OVER WITH ALREADY!

There are a lot of fat folks in town. I had to brake hard to miss these folks when they walked out in front of my bike taxi--ONCE THEY GET GOING IT'S HARD TO STOP. Had another couple in the cab the other day who were over 300 pounds each. They couldn't walk the two blocks back to their tour bus. Just getting them loaded was like watching grass grow. First time EVER a horse carriage out ran me. When I stopped at Market and East Bay for a red light the rear wheel ended up in a low spot on the road. I had to get off the bike and push the back tire up to a flatter area to get going again--very embarrassing. When the ride was over the lady said she was going to see her doctor to find out why she wasn't getting around so good--right...maybe the doc can make her three feet taller? Another lady stumbled getting out of the cab and ended up sitting on the curb...it took seven people--SEVEN-- pulling and pushing, to stand her up.

One of the horse carriage guys told me they had two people so big they took up the a whole seat that normally holds 6 people. After the ride they bitched about the cushions not being thick enough.

Here is my new rule: when your ass is wider than a draft horse you pay double.

Sometimes you just need to be lucky. Last week, like a lot of other folks, I was online watching my stock account heading south and said what the hell and made an offer 30-40% below the market price for some stocks then left the house to for a Costco run. When I returned from Costco, much to my surprise, my trade had been completed. Before I could start to worry about paying to much the prices start back up and I made a nice profit for the day. When the Dow went back up to 9,000 a few days later my stocks we're worth almost as much as when this whole slide started--in Las Vegas it would have been a good time to cash in my chips. Anyway, it seems like stocks are opening lower in the AM and making a recovery later in the day so I'm throwing out a few low ball offers the night before and hoping for more of the same. I have a new slot machine.

Federal Guidelines: We will take income from hard working industries Americans and give it to those folks who have made poor decisions about where they live, where they work, how much they work and how they spend their money. Just to rub it in a little we'll call it FAIRNESS.

He is 2 years old and owns more trucks than Yellow Freight and is a close runner up to UPS. He can scatter all 400 of his toys around the house at a 4 minute per mile pace. He is genetically programed to walk through every mud puddle. He likes to turn off the TV, one night every time he turned it off I'd turn it back on with the remote..after about an hour I gave up and started reading a book.

He can say I wlove you and I'm Papa's best buddy. It took awhile but the other day he walked 1.5 miles. Most nights he wants to go to bed by 8 PM. Our favor food is beans and rice, he likes his with milk but I only drink milk in a white Russian.

People want to know if our bicycle rides across country are done to raise money for a charity. Some seem disappointed that we just ride cause we like to ride and don't have lofty goals to help mankind. They over look the fact that everywhere we go there is an increase in monetary velocity as we spend money on motels, meals, bicycle parts and more meals. In turn, the folks we spend money with spend money with other folks. Not to mention the fact that a higher and higher percentage of this money ends up in the government redistribution system allowing more and more bureaucrats to live the good life. So in a round about way we contribute to a charity which provides meaningless employment to a lot of people who otherwise might have to be productive.

After an injury it can be a little scary trying to test your physical limits. I laid around like an old dog for about 10 days until a back problem from inactivity started rearing it's ugly head. It was time to get back on the road. For a few days I eased around town chatting up the hotel folks, probably riding a total of 10 miles each day including the commute to work. Then today it happened...BANG. None of the kids showed up to ride [not that unusually after a busy Saturday]. The phone started ringing and people flagged me down and I didn't stop riding from 10:00 AM till almost 3:00 PM. Lots of long rides to Hominy Grill, 148 South Battery [House & Garden Tour] and all over east hell. There were three rides backed up at once and just when I was about to fall apart one of the guys showed up and together we kept all the balls in the air. I felt great! When you hot you hot...

My friend Patty Girl says I needed to get a new picture on this blog. The old one down below is a little early for Halloween and might scare innocent children. Maybe if I ride a bicycle as big and unusual as the one in this picture, folks will take the phone out of their ear long enough to miss me.

The policeman gave me a ticket for not having automobile insurance. This is SOP and a requirement by SC Dept. of Motor Vehicles. Apparently it's up to me to write and tell them I was on a bicycle--now I'm starting to get a headache. Also, I've got to talk someone into taking these stitches out of my head. Who needs 8 years of medical training to cut a stitch? All you need is a little pain killer and small scissors. So..Paddy Boy, when are you getting home, I'll bring the rum?